On Friday morning, some of us had been up since dawn with the Brasso, making sure that everything was ship shape and Bristol fashion for our guests. We were expecting a precious cargo of party passengers aboard the Good Ship Portcullis, all eager for a good day's fishing; in this case wireless fishing.

The excellent turn out, with only two people missing, (one was ill -probably sea sick- and the other was lost!) boded well for a successful day. As we cast-off, with the Company flag fluttering proudly in the breeze from the flagstaff, our guests networked away over breakfast.

Subsequently, we made our way onto the upper deck for the seminar as I heard a strange noise coming from the heads (toilets to landlubbers) on approaching the door of the Gent's I detected a curious shuffling sound. I turned the handle and entered smartly expecting to find "Georgio Michael and friend" only to discover a small gang of rough looking stowaways in yellow suits who hadn't eaten for days. I took pity on the pathetic wretches, decided not to call the river police but merely chucked them over board to find the shore and a decent cafe.

With our perimeter security once more intact, the show began with a few words from myself which I finished off with a tap-dance version of the dying swan from Swan Lake.
Though people looked confused, I'm sure they were just appreciative of a bit of culture.
I then managed to "amaze indeed the very eyes and ears" of those present at the touch of a button; I actually operated a computer and set the wireless scanning in motion!
Our Salty Sea Dog, Peter Edgeler, braved the tide of flotsam and jetsom that surrounds the Data Protection Act and the Freedom of Information Act, helping to make sense of it all for the rest of us.

Our friend from the Cabinet Office, Harvey Mattinson waxed lyrical about the Government's strategy on Information Assurance in the UK and then handed over to our Technical Director, Paul Docherty who conducted a live test to see what a prize catch of Wireless LAN information could be passively detected as we cruised down the river.

With the seminar concluded, we all made our way below decks for an excellent lunch of fresh, pan seared cod, where the wine and the conversation flowed and somebody started off an old sea shanty with some rather startling lyrics.

All to soon, the cruise was over and we were back on dry land but still walking as if we were on a rough channel crossing. There was only one thing for it, we headed straight for another boat which was moored up nearby and seemed to promise the delights of nautical hospitality.

Some time later, to our great surprise, Her Majesty sailed by on the HMS Peculiar, looking stately as a galleon, on her way back from having a beano with her Beefeaters at the Tower. She recognised our modern version of the royal salute and was piped aboard to join us for a gin and a chat about IT Security. She seemed particularly interested in Access Control Solutions.

All in all, it was a splendid day, which proved useful for our guests in both what they learnt from the seminar and from talking to each other. Consequently, we at Portcullis have decided to hold the event again. Does our munificence know no bounds? I hear you ask. Well, don't get too excited, your name might not be on the list !!

So watch this space for an imminent announcement about the date of the War Cruise II and wait to see if you get to receive a lucky golden ticket.